I am trying with all my heart and soul right now to be positive and present during this season as we figure out our new normal, but it hasn’t been all newborn snuggles and coos. It’s been anxious. And loud. And heavy and a bit burdensome (especially with feeling tied to a feeding clock). Please don’t judge me for my lack of balance and my failing mothering heart, but not every new mom especially of two, can sit blissfully, baby in arms on the bed breastfeeding as their toddler just plays quietly in the corner. That is not my life. I feel like my toddler hates me right now and my husband is worried about my lack of sleep and seriously snippy responses. Would I like my life to be as this beautiful photo? @nicoleleever you captured a fairytale moment. But the reality is — this isn’t my life. My life is just a heavy overwhelming mess. I’m often more quiet these days, probably because I’m so tired, but moreso because I’m in my head, prayer and hoping for this season to transition and be done. •

Did you by any chance feel this way too? Did you look on with envy as other new moms blissfully entered this season with grace and patience and understanding? I shared more on stories but maybe I’m going about it all wrong… or maybe I’m just the only one talking about it right now. ♥︎